Big mouth

Jibber jib, jibber jib
Somebody had gift of glib
Unrestrained urge for sound
Tongue running round and round
'What the F...?' said the brain
'Shut up, shut up, (sigh!), not again'
Brainless thoughts spurned and burnt
Hmmm...Might we hope a lesson learnt(?).

One week on

Friday
Good ol' friends. Classical music, white urban undulating (urbane?) ceilings; fish fingers, cheese toast and fries, topped with sour cream, barbecue sauce and heavy discussions on gender, sexuality and the pseudo-intellectuals stampeding to save the world, a sobering whiff of little girls being rescued and the bleak-black-blank future ahead. "Can I help you? Thks, we're just looking. Thats okay, I'll stand here and stare at the money not yet oozing out of your asses." Cops in cahoots with pimps, unable to do naught but talk with uncontrollable tongues trying hard to make their way out of a satisfying haze of booze-induced fog. Winter is here and so is a session of adrenaline pumping, cardiac arresting Montenegro and Prague; a missing Q, a good bod, English accent and a fine debut. Running behind cars and running against time for lots of red wine and a warm blanket. Planning a house-warming for wide prayer-hall curtains; expats and one gay man. Good-night Musky. And the tally stands at:
2 Moo Woos
1 Baileys and Amaretto
1 Gin and Tonic
2 glasses of Red Wine.

Saturday
"How many drinks have you had?" The Mystery of the Missing Phone and Umpteen Unmade Phone Calls; a trafficked bell, small talk, fake comfort zone with lots of green spaces, a farm-house and a long taxi ride; an Azerbaijani with two trophy girls; a (plucky?) French lady alone at the bar, the bleakness of Moscow, postiche smiles and nodding heads, looking at nothing but two empty cigarette packets; a carpenter from Argentina, a masochist with two terraces; the night is still young. Oh, and the tally stands at:
4 glasses of Red Wine
3 Gin and Tonics.

Was it all worth it?

Tis the season to be jolly, tra la la la, la la la la..

Tally ho

Friday:
1 Passion Sour
1 Mexican Cruise
1/2 Fosters
1 shot Sake

Saturday:
1 glass Red Wine
1-1/2 Death by Chocolate
1/2 Screaming Orgasm

Sunday:
2 glasses Red Wine
2 shots Honey Wine
1/2 shot Sake

Purrr...very nice.





p.s.: had got the image ages ago from somewhere on the net. Will be happy to give the correct ref., in case someone knows where/who has the rights for the piccie.

Blueberries and cream; peace, coffee and a croissant; the pleasure of writing; and friends

Gosh...in between an extremely hectic and pretty stressed two weeks at work, some things to smile about which I never got a chance to pen down..

- Finally opened that bottle of 'blueberries and cream' shampoo which a colleague had gifted on my birthday months and months ago. I was given this, for its bluish-purple colour, but wait, unexpectedly, it has this beeeautiful aroma each time I open the bottle...like a fantastic smelling cake. And, each time I wash my hair, I feel fab! Thks S.

-I found a lead pencil, yes - using one after years, which is soo smooth it just glides across the page. Now each time I have to jot something down I keep the pens away and reach for the pencil.

-Enjoying a cup of coffee and croissant while reading the Sunday paper in a coffee shop which usually plays loud music, but this time somehow let us simply enjoy the peace with muted music in the background.

and a bonus one..

-Enjoying a sleepover at a friend's new house. Love the new house and how welcome I was made to feel. Random giggles over unpacking new wine glasses and having great vodca left over by 'our weekend friend' !! Lol J! And thanks, I am so glad you are back.

Sigh..I miss and I hope

Yes, the realisation has hit with a small peck on the cheek, I do miss the old times (SIGH!). Nothing like a teaser to make one want the old familiar tastes...

I miss the back verandah of the raft on Kanchanaburi. That silence, the gentle rocking of the boat, and the sound of crickets...

Grrr....I wish I would could/would manage my time better...

Comfy cookies and a pat on the back

Awrighty, so taking inspiration from Clare of TBT (I think she has started a revolution of sorts!), here is my list for today:

1.Pat on the back email from boss over a job well done.

2.Opening a new tin of scrumptious smelling (mmmmm.........) cookies and eating one of each flavour (apple and cinnamon finger, cocoa/strawberry jelly drop, apple and cinnamon wheel, oatmeal and raisin star, and orange country style)!

3.Wearing my pair of incredibly comfy brick red shoes to office.

The Beggar and The Tree

Everyday when I pass this place by
I see a lone beggar lie
Underneath the lone tree
He has no bonds, he is free
His hand outstretched in front
Tells me the lesson he learnt
His clothes are tattered
His face is battered
Full of hope - and sadness
Enveloping him to madness
He waits for food - and hope
For the latter I see no scope
And when I came with food
I all alone there stood
But, the lone tree was there
I hadn't seen it with care
When my eyes fell on the beggar
My legs started to stagger
For he had gone to sleep
I had no time to weep
Neither to brood
I all alone there stood
The tree, it was but dried wood
That was all left of it
Bit by bit
It had finally become free
That distant lonely tree.

Yes, another one in continuation of the earlier Miracles. Was wondering where these two had gotten lost (yup, another two A4 size typed sheets!). This one was 'inspired', of all things, by a painting at the back of a Reader's Digest magazine. In those days RD used to have paintings or pictures on the back cover. A couple of years ago, with change of management I believe, RD changed that to the ever too too common advertisement/s on its covers. Thus losing one of the distinguishing features of the mag. My Dad had been an RD subscriber from the early 70s onwards - from even before I was born! And I loved the magazine, during my teens as well as later years. Back home during summer holidays was the time to sit with the whole year's stack and read through them. Haven't bothered to go through one for more than a year now, the change in magazine format was very disappointing. However, the management decided to stick to the new one with new features and advertisements galore every few pages, sadly reducing the Reader's Digest from being a highly readable 'book' to a one-of-many-out-there 'magazine'.

Favourites from Thailand

Some of my favourite images from Thailand:

On the Kwae

This granny was the cutest internet cafe owner ever! Kanchanaburi

The corridor of the Sleeping Buddha temple in Bangkok

Love this 'dark' picture..catches the rainy season perfectly

Taxi in a thunderstorm, Bangkok

Sukhothai..classic

I liked this sentry at the Sleeping Buddha complex

(Others at Flickr on the side.)

Of mobiles and other instruments

Yesterday's newspapers carried the headlines 'Amsterdam Detainees Return, Tell Their Side of The Story' and similar. While its nice to know that fellow countrymen are back safe and sound, I do wonder whether we missed-out reading between the lines. Since I was neither in Amsterdam nor on the plane, my thoughts are based totally on what the newspapers reported (or perchance 'did not'?). However, if the comments of some of the fellow passengers were correct - that the said group, or some of them anyway, refused to obey the airline stewards' requests to fasten seatbelts and turn off mobile phones; and kept exchanging places - hmm...is it just me I wonder who thinks this was unacceptable behaviour. Disregarding regulations, talking on mobile phones and generally being loud and discorteous to fellow passengers is not simply infuriatingly irritating but quite simply putting safety on the line. I doubt if this did in fact happen and if travelling on the same plane, whether I would not have complained myself (hmm..ya definitely..think I messed up the grammar in this sentence..).

That reminds me, on my last flight the teenager sitting next to me kept looking back at me with puzzled eyes when he caught me staring menacingly at him fiddling arond with his mobile and got me really irritated when instead of shutting it off he just turned around and attached some handsfree stuff and smugly put on his headphones. On being tapped on the shoulder with 'Shut off your phone if you don't mind' I was equally smugly informed that the 'phone' in fact was an 'mp3' player, and no, he would not turn it off!

Ladies compartment

Yesterday was Day 1 of resolution: Pay more attention to 'surroundings'. Henceforth I hoped to not walk around in my zombielike trance looking either preoccupied/ not interested/ or simply looking 'through' everything (yes, phrase used by a week old colleague)....and unfortunately so true. No more walking with eyes looking on goings on inside the head as opposed to outside it. So anyway, the idea was to pay more attention to the world 'out there'.

The day getting off to a dodgy start should have given an inkling of things to happen, but at 5.00am I was too sleepy to notice. Getting up at half past four with just about a hour and a half of sleep inside me is never a good thing, especially so for a morning hater like myself. Consoling myself with the thought that I could sleep on the train, I got up, got dressed and was out just as the taxi pulled up. About half way to the station I realised that I in fact did not have my passport with me, and there I was going to get the passport sorted out. T y p i c a l. Taxi did an about turn and by the time I found the damn thing and the taxi rushed back to the station, the train had barely 5 minutes to go.

Safely landing in my compartment and subsequently in my seat, I was looking forward to a quiet five and a half hour journey and perhaps catching up on my sleep. (Oh by the way, have figured out how to read those old newspapers neatly piling up in a corner of the room, - take them on train journeys! Yes, I went through three days worth on my way back...) The seat next to me was occupied by a youngish-senior lady whose husband sat across the aisle and belched loudly every now and then. My turning in the general direction of the couple with a disgusted look every time it happened, didn't have any effect and after the first few times she even looked amused, so I stopped doing that and did my usual 'fuming silently' bit.

The compartment was only about half-full and everyone was in the back half, with the front of the compartment completely empty. A cute guy 'very French looking' sat in the seat in front of the seat in front of me and smiled back when I smiled at him while searching for my seat. Hmm...everything was okay with my world at 6.00am when, not so quietly, around nine (wannabe?) models trooped in. Complete with flowing tresses, 5'10"+ heights and miniscule waists, the ladies literally brought the compartment to a sit-still. A sudden pin-drop silence snugly and not so comfortabley enveloped the half-full compartment, and most gawked while pretending not to, while others gawked without pretence. For God's sake, (cheesy you might think, but I can't resist it->) out of all the compartments in all the bloody trains, they had to walk into mine! F!

Everyone looked while the girls sorted themselves out, stored their luggage and located their seats, all the while chattering away, fully aware of the impact they had had. Each time one of the girls walked down the aisle everyone looked at her in an almost shy manner. To be honest, besides being incredibly thin and tall, some were really quite pretty. Made a mental note to rush for the door as soon as the train stopped at the final destination and stand either waaaaay in front or waaaay behind 'the nine', - There was NO WAY I was going to be seen next to them!

A long sigh later I turned towards the window and looked at not the poetically rolling fields but at a stained blue curtain, something I had to do most of the way as the bloody rings were stuck.

Almost five and a half hours later it was amusing to see most of the half-full compartment rush for the door while the ladies were still sleepily waking up from their slumber. Is it that some of us had the same thot hanh hanh hanh??!

So much for paying attention to the surroundings. I think I shall go back inside my head.

Miracles (ahem...uncut)

Scorching heat, blazing sun
Uncomfortable days
Sleepless nights
Heat
Unrelenting for days on end
Everyone hoping
And hoping
And suddenly
There is a rumble
Darkening of the sky
A flash of light
And
A few drops fall
Flowers unfurl
Faces soften
Cool air
All the uncomfort receeds to the back of the mind

Observing this small miracle
One of the endless miracles of time
Someone murmurs:
'God is so very kind'

Came across this one yellowing page while cleaning the files and files (and piles and piles) of paper in my room; oddly under the 'electricity complaints' section. Well, what can I say, (sigh) twas one of the few attempts at prose in my early teens. I even took the 'poem' to the neighbourhood typist/photocopywallah and paid him a forgotten sum from my pocketmoney (100 Rupee for pocketmoney in those days got you A LOT of stuff) to type this on an A4 size sheet of paper. Clutching these few sheets of paper on my way back home I fancied myself an author with the first manuscript of bigger things to come. Sigh..sadly I grew up!

This pretzel shell provides a soft, teeth-saving crunch.

Shopping.

As I grow older I've noticed my shopping 'style' undergoing a drastic change. Instead of getting dressed up and spending hours leisurely looking through stuff (clothes, shoes, music, etc. etc.) - as was the norm earlier, I find myself rushing to shops wearing my most easy to take off t-shirt and grabbing things which I think I might like, rushing to the counter and getting outa there asap. The most irritating segment of this time frame is having to wait for what seems like hours outside the changing rooms and then finally when finding one empty, to discover that the size is either too too small (very often) or too big (sometimes) (of the clothes I mean, though it equally goes for the trial rooms), and then the whole putting on-taking off-putting on-taking off routine is somthing I dread. Especially since it is a never-ending process of 'trial and error' - literally. Once I start, I get into this loop of waiting for a vacant trial room: struggling to get the shirt or skirt over my chest or thighs as the case might be: struggling out of the clothes stuck midway: wearing own stuff back: scouting around for a bigger size: waiting for a vacant trial room.... At least I have gotten used to totally ignoring the skinny and annorexic women all around me looking for 'S'mall and 'XS-Extra small' sizes, while I stop the shop assistants and ask them: 'Do you have this in large'. I've also almost perfected this 'whatever stare' for assistants who respond with 'Madam I think you might wanna try an XL'. 'WHATEVER'!

So today's rushed trip got me: 2 kurtas (dark green, and brown), 1 parallel pajama sort of stuff (black), 1 hybrid bween a chunni and a scarf (black, bloody expensive, and I already love it! I plan to cut it and make it into a proper scarf), 2 tops (cream-fawnish, and purple); and 9 bras (yes I know I sort of panicked and went a bit overboard) - in black, black, black, black, light purple, white, cream, cream, maroon. I like the light purple one the bestest.

Then it was the turn for weekly groceries and hence and for sustenance this week I have a choice bween: 1.5 kg mangoes, 5 packets of maggi, 4 packets of random ready-to-eat veggies, 1 jar mixed pickle (for when the veggies run out), 1 jar pasta sauce (a sole jar of a brand called 'Tify' which was hidden way behind all the expensive Pregos. Tify was definitely more interesting), yoghurt and 1 packet of munchies called 'Pretzel Pete' described on the packet as 'All-Natural Pretzel Nuggets filled with creamy smooth peanut butter'. Not sure why I bought this since I don't even like peanut butter. It even has a detailed diagram on the back with arrows pointing to various parts of a nugget with random info - 'This pretzel shell provides a soft, teeth-saving crunch!' <- 'teeth saving crunch' hmmm, 'Creamy realy peanut butter is injected just before baking' <- wow! is that so!, 'Peanut butter nuggets are not overtly salted' <- ooookay.

And then, I bought a black coffee mug which I quite like. And it is now sitting snugly with my Flower Power mug, my London mug, my Purple Ronnie mug, and my free with Dominoes Pizza mug...nice, the family is growing.

Sigh. So, that was what I did most of the day today. Sigh.

Reset the funny bone

Intentions were good I swear..but after 2.5 hours of staring at the pages supplemented with 1 hazelnut cappuccino, 1 chicken salami sandwich, 1 orange brownie, 3 glasses of water, and 1 packet of crisps, - NOTHING, yes nothing, has gone in my head. Must be the high levels of pesticides in the water. HA HA HA HA (hysterical laughter fades away)

Truce?

The UN has called for a three-day truce between Israel and Hezbollah to allow for aid to enter southern Lebanon and for casualties to be removed.

US President George W Bush has (again) dismissed calls for an immediate truce, arguing instead for an international force to be deployed in Lebanon.

Day 7: Kanchanaburi

Sat, 17 June, 11.37 am
Day 7


Sitting at the back verandah of my raft room - its ridiculously beautiful. The Kwae is flowing all around me and there is a soft sound of small waves 'pluf' - almost the same sound as when a pebble hits water. Breezy today so the raft is moving with the waves..

Woke up in the morning to a curiously 'wavy' room, a desperate grab at the sides of the bed and 'what the!?!', was the first thought of the morning. 'Uh I hope the raft is properly moored or whatever they call tying it down, and that the management knows the weather is choppy, after all it would be decidedly embarrassing to shout at the management with my raft flowing down the river 'uh, excuse me, but I think my room is unmoored and is flowing down the river, uh, can you please help!' , while they look surprised at the Indian girl trying to jump down from the raft, such scenes floated fleetingly in my head (mmm..floated fleetingly - I like the sound of that). Telling myself to be practical I woke and was up on another bright day in Thailand.


I can hear the crickets from across the river, from the thick shrubs on the opposite bank. Now and then a noisy motorboat passes by at high speed, ferrying tourists, and there are faraway sounds of (Thai) music blaring from speakers somewhere, or maybe its one of those karaoke boats.

F must have checked out today. We said goodbye last night. I was to leave for a different town today, either Ayutthaya or Phitsanulok, instead have decided to stay on for one more night and just enjoy the serenity from my raft. Just taking it easy. Met F the day before. Haven't met many single travellers during this trip. We spent yesterday walking around the town and we got along well. It was nice to have someone to talk to after travelling alone for a while.

(to be contd.)

-

'.., I wonder why the promises I make to other people always become more important than the ones I make to myself.'

'That everyone's just trying to find what makes them feel good...'

'I remember reading somewhere that no one can make you feel intimidated without your permission.'

'I give them a smile I don't really own..'

'..I know how much that hurt. But you cannot control other people's actions. You can only control your response to them. And you have to pick your battles wisely, because it just takes so much energy to be angry. Energy that you can put to better use.'

Faking 19: Alyson Noel

Deep regrets

An Israeli bomb killed four unarmed UN observers from Austria, China, Canada and Finland, after their UN post in the town of Khiam was hit by an Israeli air strike on Tuesday...Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert has expressed "deep regrets" over the deaths.

Always be reasonable

Some gems I came across in a book at Ban Thai Guesthouse, Sukhothai, Thailand:

Intellectual knowledge can be a major obstacle on the path to real knowledge, especially if this knowledge is used with haughty pride.

Try to understand that tranquility, peace and quietness is (sic) not found outside. Wishing for the world to be quiet for you is absurd.

Take your life as it is. Do not think: 'It could have been like that'. Do not curse one of all your days. Whatever you have to bear, bear it! Everything whatever crosses your way, bless it, and you will be blessed.

Always be reasonable.

When the dog bites, when the bee stings

Okay so I have been meaning to write this list for God knows how long (years!) and off and on have started jotting down things but then forgotten all about them, so here again is an effort to put my favourite things in one big bountiful basket. Will add to it as things come back..

Rainstorms in the summer; Standing with eyes closed at a high place and the cool breeze passing all around me; Mmmm, the oh so well remembered smell of old books; Flowers pressed in pages with transparent petals softer than silk which you want to touch and yet are scared to; Caressing the soft fur of a pup; A surprise call from a friend oceans away; a good book; Johnny Depp in Pirates of the Carribbean..savvy!; getting the 'green' signal at all traffic lights on a drive; an amused chuckle (or should that be a bemused chuckle?); a hearty laugh with family and friends - the kind where you guffaw loudly while clutching your stomach saying 'I can't laugh any more' with tears running down your face; meeting someone very polite on the street; revising opinion about someone in a good way; a beautiful painting; a funny, uplifting movie; a tree blooming with flowers; mangoes; good friends; my car; ....

Hmm...

I am a Lotus Elize!

You believe in maximum performance and minimum baggage. You like to travel light and fast, hit the corners hard, and dance like there's no tomorrow.

"Take the Which Sports Car Are You? quiz.

Mutterings, Movies and Free Popcorn

Okay, so after another week slogging in the office, managed to escape at 10.00pm Friday night, and to celebrate decided to splurge my time and not work on Saturday for a change (hurray!). So, having a rare free Saturday we decided to go catch some movies. J and I both agreed that this year's Oscar shortlist offers great choice for movie lovers. So having had a leisurely brunch we sheepishly borrowed the newspapers from the neightbours and scanning through the list, headed out to adventureland. Rushing out of home a half hour before a show on a weekend is never a great idea, and definitely not when there is major confusion on the venue. So rushing through the mad traffic, parking and racing across the streets, we did get to the show - only either we were at the wrong venue or at the wrong time (hmm..or was it both). Anyway, we couldn't care less in the mid-day sun so bought tickets for the next show of Crash and hung about in the mall, watching people watch other people hanging about. Major giggling fits at being searched by a very embarrassed looking security woman (girl!) we headed to the theatre for a very satisfying two hours of movie watching. The movie was great but interrupted in between with the girl next to us giving instructions on locating files on her computer in a very loud voice to someone on the other end of her mobile phone (WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE????). She seemed genuinely puzzled at being asked to shut up, but did nevertheless. Great movie - go watch it folks.

J was keen to catch in another show and used major persuasion which ultimately resulted in us entering the theatre a few minutes later (being hurriedly waved in this time by the same embarrassed looking security girl, - as soon as she realised we were about to break into another round of giggling fits). This time we saw 'Mixed Doubles' or was it Mixed-up Couples, or Mixed-Up Direction, or Mixed-Up Boring Jokes...anyway something like that. The concept was great, Mr Kapoor unfortunately couldn't follow it through. Determined not to fall asleep we entertained ourselves with shutting-up people who kept talking on mobile phones, but gave up after being outnumbered by the punjabi ringtones blaring out from all diretions. J had requested the usher to give us seats in the last row in case noone turned up, and sure enough about 10 min into the movie we were moved to the middle seats in the last row. Which was great as the seats had mucho leg-space but unfortunately the seats also had mucho airconditioning blast. (My knees started aching by the way (early signs of rheumatism?) and while walking out I had to pretend my leg had gone to sleep..) J's mumblings on the movie being boring and my musings on how thin Konkana was looking in the movie and how much weight I had put on, were interrupted by the usher coming over and asking if we wanted anything to eat. What?! Uh where did that come from? J said a quick No (always think before answering I say, yes Sir I sure do) but used the next half hour trying to figure out why he had asked us that question. I pretended not to be interested but kept looking out from the corner of my eyes at the usher picking and choosing people to ask them the same question. Oh Gosh, maybe we had won free food, maybe we were in business class seats and the service came free,...I gave up pretending as my stomach growled and the two aunties close to us got a massive bowl of popcorn and coke. We spent the next few minutes debating on how best to approach the usher and finding out what the mystery was (or rather, what was the 'majra') and discovered that it was an order-from-seat service as opposed to free food or a million rupees in prizes and oter such day-dreams that we had. Luckily our disappointing 'Ohs' were soon followed by KonkanaSS and the guy who was playing her husband (but came out as playing a badly raised pouty pre-teen) getting back home and the credits rolling on screen, and we rushed out of the hall to heated arguments on whether we should have watched this before Crash so as to have a good end to the evening, or maybe should have just watched one movie, ..oh whatever. A mad rush along the streets ensued and culminated in satisfying drinks (Stolinchkaya by the way, great vodka) and dinner. Followed by more plans to catch the other nominees..Keep watching this space for reviews.....

Hey Sexy!

The wispered sentence jarred the senses once again..its funny how things came rushing back. "Hey Sexy!" for Gods sake, people don't say that anymore!! Do they? They do. Standing at the corner of a road in the afternoon, waiting for a friend, a stranger walked by with a 'hey sexy', I didn't even register the person till he had gone, saw a checked red shirt from the corner of my eye. My only reaction at that point was "What the..", "People don't say that anymore", suddenly I felt vulnerable, how dare someone wisper lecherously and walk away? Why didn't I say anything? Do anything? Replaying the (non?)incident in my mind again and again I wonder if I should have reacted sooner and caught him by the collar and asked him why he said that. WHY? Perhaps I would have beaten him to pulp for this, if I was in a movie, thats what they do all the time,..but instead I felt uncomfortable, was mad at my friend for being late so as to put me in a situation where I had to leave the comfort of my car and wait at the street corner. She was guilty. I was guilty for having not done anything? Guilty! Guilty! GUILTY! But then, for women, aren't there checked red shirts at each street corner...

Started and finished reading 'Sita's Curse' by Seema Sirohi this weekend...In the last decade, had dowry deaths really increased by 225 percent? But I thought these had actually reduced since my time as a teenager a couple of decades ago when the media used to report how women had been burnt by family here and there. I still remember a few incidents being reported on tv 'Three sisters hung themselves' because the prospective grooms demanded dowries which the parents were unable to gather. I remember reading in the newspapers that they were 'nice girls', they were proficient in cooking and taking care of the house, were 'BA passed', the neighbours never saw them hanging out in the terrace of their houses, because they were nice girls they stayed in the house....sigh. I thought this stopped happening ages ago, youngsters nowadays are so 'modern' as compared to our days, I see young girls walking confidently around the city. I see couples confortabley walking together. I see the country's economy booming everywhere. I see perfectly made up women driving large cars, I see the opposition being led by a woman, I see women in the high rungs of the govt., of UN, of corporates, and yet it takes a book to make me wonder if I actually see whats going on around. The case studies mentioned in Sihrohi's book contain examples from different strata of society, from the girl who had dropped out of school after Vth standard to the girl who had completed higher studies abroad and was thoroughly independent. Gosh, if it could happen to them, it can happen to anyone. We don't see this anymore, after all women are doing so well that we don't really see that not much has changed. We all still have to avoid the checked red shirts at the corners.......