Friday, July 25, 2008

The thirst-hikers guide to the galaxy

"The first number was wrong.
The second rang, loud and shrill, forcing her to jerk the receiver away from the ear for a split second..
Riiiiiiiiing Riiiiiiiiiing
'Hello'
'Uh, is this Earth'
'Hold please'
Silence for a few seconds, before a slightly more modulated voice comes on line -'Yes, hello'
'I was trying to find out if this is Earth'
'Yes'
'Uh, we were on our way, can u give us directions'.
Static followed by what seemed like garbled words, which we managed to decipher as a very heavily accented response.' Then the second voice came back on line -
'Did u get that'
'Uh, um, yes'
'Can you keep some space for us..?'
'Earth is very crowded on Friday's,.. but how many?'
'Three'
'What time?'
'About 8.30'
'Ok ma'am, where r you coming from'
'India, uh I mean...Delhi'
'Okay'."


'As I giggled to myself over having to start a conversation with..."Is this Earth?" and egged the driver on in the general galactic direction, we inevitably were caught up in the very un-Earthly traffic heading out of Delhi. Finally reaching destination more than an hour late, we realised that the crossed fingers were useless and we'd lost the 'space'. However, the Earthlings found us places at the bar, where we gladly rested our tired bones, and focused on uncrossing the fingers while quenching our thirsts with greedy gulps of wine.

The place gets a solid thumps up.

And yes, I was right, its owned by the same company which owns my favourite chillout place in Delhi, hence the same signature decor and absolutely great chillout music. But what makes Earth a tad better than Stone, is the cocktail menu and wine list. With the best, yup -'The Best' Martinis I have had - in or in the vicinity of the capital. Unfortunately, the service is not at par, and the food and service is where Stone goes a notch up.

Three hours and four great Martini's later, I was just glad that Earth was a bit far for me to reach regularly, otherwise, between Stone and Earth, my already depleting dough balance, would obscurely disappear in the milky way.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Being detective

One of life's little mysteries propagated by the big and small screen - the mystery of the cliched snapping shoe heel...

Two simple questions and two simple answers:

a) Does it actually happen?
Yes.
In a crowded place.
And when you least expect it.

b) So then how do you walk?
You don't.
You develop a desperate coping mechanism.
Here's how mine went: stumble, drag foot, drag foot, little ballet step with heel off the ground, stumble, drag, drag, ballet step, ballet step, stand still and think 'this can't be happening', drag, ballet step, ballet step, watch with the corner of the eye how many people are watching, big drag, small drag, and so on and so forth..

In hindsight, its not that difficult really. And employing full force when throwing shoes in the bin, definitely helps in the healing process.