I seek company of friends, old and new, when I am alone. But I've discovered that, I prefer my own company in a crowd. The trappings of joy de vivre are addictive, but then listening from a distance has its own moments. It has its not-too-sharp curves with deja vu signposts zipping by - slowly.
Watching in slow motion and listening from far far away, to someone sitting in front of you...
..Its like seeing an old frayed fawn-edged black and white photograph..
..Like watching cigarette smoke twirl elegantly towards the ceiling..
..Like slowing tracing your finger over someone's eyebrow..
..Its like writing words in your mind.
You get up, walk away to the distance, without the other person realising that you are no longer there. You learn things about the other person. Often just irritants, but sometimes surprising things, which gently tug you back.
Sometimes you even learn about yourself.