'The Buyer'

Clearing the drafts in my inbox, I came across this post I had written way back in September 2006 (20th September 2006 to be exact), and somehow never posted it. Well, as it happens, this year's Osian's Film Festival 2012- Indian, Asian and Arab Cinema, is currently ongoing (info is linked above for the movie buffs). Hence, almost befitting that this long lost post is finally online after six years when this year's festival is ongoing, same as that one day in September 2006. Presenting - The Buyer: 

Let me start at the beginning: Twas a happy go lucky start to the day.

Or maybe not so much. After going to sleep at the usual God-ly hour of

5.30am, I had to be up at 8.00 in order to meet a prospective buyer

for one of my VCDs. Oh yes, I am on my way to being a successful

businessperson. Sent an email to a listserve with a list of my VCDs I

no longer wanted to and lo and behold I got a response from a member.

The deal was to meet her at 8.45am with the movie. Since the venue was

not too far from home I agreed to the previously mentioned Godly hour

and having gotten up at 8.00am sharp, drove bleary-eyed to the

rendezvous. 'I will be in this and this car and will be wearing this'

always has an exciting feel to it, especially for movie buffs like me.

Well, have you ever done this, - that you have to meet someone at some

place and then when you get there and see them, you pretend like you

haven't and then wait till they see you first while you act cooler

than a prickly heat powder. I do it all the time, barely works, but I

don't give up easily so I keep doing it. After about two minutes of

playing the powder the prospective buyer approached. Me: Hi, how are

you. I'm here with the movie. I didn't have any difficulty finding

this place. Have you been waiting long. I'm here with the movie

(silently wispring to myself: way too much talking happening, shut up

shut up, act cool). Buyer: Ya. Did you say you had difficulty finding

this place or did you say you did not have difficulty in finding this

place? Me: Uh....(silence) I'm here with the movie. Buyer: Hmm. Me:

(this isn't going too well) Buyer: I haven't heard of this adaptation,

but I guess I might as well buy it otherwise you would have come for

nothing. Me: Oh no its okay, you don't have to buy it. (WHAT! Shut up)

Take your time to decide and I can always come again. I did not have a

problem finding this place! I have a car, I can come again whenever

its convenient for you (Groan, you moron) Buyer: Okay then, let me

think about it. Me: Okay, call me when you have decided. Bye. Me in

the car: Well that was just bloody great! Why did you call me here

with my CD at this time of the morning if you did not want to buy it.

You had all the details on email. Damn. And you, you idiot, what

happened to the resolution to act cool and all businessy. Sad start to

my business ambitions. Well, haven't heard from her so far and if I

do, I have given myself a pep talk to act very businesspersonny and

not like a sissy geek.

Let me fast forward to the second transaction, ostensibly to be

carried out this evening. A very friendly voice called and said 'Uh I

emaile you about the mooovie. Can I get eet.' Me: great, I can meet

you somewhere convenient and give it to you (shut up before you agree

to drive 20km to make a 100buck sale). Fortunately the buyer in

question was coming to the Osian Film Fest and that being 'not too

far' from home, I agreed to meet her there just before 9 and make the

deal. With the usual 'i will be in this car' and 'I will be in a Green

dress' talk, was up and ready when the call came at 8.40 and drove to

the rendevous point, spotted the buyer and made the deal. I even took

the initiative of taking the requisite change with me, and She turned

out to be very friendly and we promptly finished the transaction. The

deal got complicated as I got home and was geting out of the car I

noticed that the lady in question had left a mobile in the car. Groan,

no..........so I got back right in and drove back towards Siri Fort.

Well this is just great, - Typical. By the time I got to the Siri Fort

turning the traffic there was horrendous and after managing to make

the turn I started looking around for 'the buyer' in the hope that she

had realised the mobile was in my car and maybe was hanging around in

the hope that I find it and drive back to the Fort. Well no such luck,

so after getting yelled at by the traffic cop, by a really angry

looking young lady who practically bellowed at me, being stared at by

a bunch of drivers (probably thinking, isn't this the same car which

had had gotten stuck while making a u-turn just 10min ago. Hey look,

its the same car and the same girl. Ha ha' I decided to turn back.

Only, it was too late and there was no turning back (as they say). The

road behind me was chock-a-block with traffic so the movement possible

was in the forward direction. So I drive for another 15minutes, get

stuck among the parked cars for another 10 and after about 40minutes

of this ordeal, get back home, to discover that the cook had waited

and gone back home and I had another night of maggi ahead of me.

Bloody great. So this is the story of transaction number two. It

doesn't stop here though, the mobile (you know which one) had been

ringing every 20minutes and I dare not turn it off. Thankfully the

buyer called a few minutes ago at midnight, 'My mobile is at your car,

can I get eeet' Me: Oh yeah, I went back looking for you but didn't

find you there. I can meet you somewhere mid-way or drive to your

place to give you the mobile (oh puhleeese shut up woman, anyone else

would have asked her to come get it, and what about that resolution to

act cool and all adult and businessy) The buyer: No eets ok, its my

mobile so I come. So yes dear reader, I am going to be up and early

tomorrow morning after my two hours of sleep, to wait for 'The Buyer'.